Children

The Truth about Consequences

If you are like most moms, you probably want to give your kids everything under the sun. You just light up when you see those happy faces. When they’re happy, you’re happy. But giving them what they want isn’t always a trait of good parenting. The truth of it is, kids usually don’t have a clue about what they want, at least not in the long run. And if we are going to build good characters in our children, it often means a bit of discomfort somewhere along the path. But then again, did you really become a mom because it was so comfortable?!

Character, not Comfort
When I go through difficult times, I always remind myself that my character is being built, that I am becoming readied for the blessings that will surely pour into my life as a result. And, up to this point, I’ve been right every time. It’s unfortunate that we sometimes have to learn the hard way, but it works every time. The rub here is that our children have to learn life lessons, and we are the ones responsible to dish them out. Parenting often means sticking to your guns when the heat is on. It means enforcing rules, applying consequences, and not buckling under the pressure. I’m not nearly as concerned with my kids’ comfort as I am with their characters, because that is the one thing that is going to last.

In It for the Long Haul
Our job is to raise children who are prepared to meet and conquer all of life’s challenges. We do this by helping them face the challenges that they have right now, and not by avoiding them. Whether it is teaching a toddler to stay away from the stove or teaching a teenager to perform well on a school project, we need to make sure we are helping them learn self control and some of that good old fashioned stick-to-it-tiveness.

Easier Said than Done
Nice words, but to put them into operation is another story entirely. Try to keep in mind that your job is not to always be the good guy. And it is definitely not to make your child’s life easy. Your job is to equip. You do this by applying the consequences that most often naturally occur. If your child is slow to get ready in the morning, then they are late for class. If a toddler mistreats a toy, then it’s taken away. If a teenager doesn’t keep up with the laundry, then they go around with skanky clothes. It’s not easy by any stretch of the imagination. No, you won’t always like it. And no, your kids won’t always like you. But in road ahead, they will love you for it. I guarantee.