Shower Me Again

Q: Some of my friends are pregnant with their second babies, and I am wondering if it is appropriate or not to give them a big baby shower like we did when they had their first child. Is there a “baby shower etiquette” rule to follow? Hannah, help me!

A: Let’s clear up this issue once and for all, shall we? Baby showers are never for the physical provision of the baby. They are for the emotional provision of the mom. Big difference! Sure, all new moms can use a layette, a pack of diapers, or a bouquet of rose-shaped baby socks. But the truth is, we can all schlep it to the store and get what we need or bum it off a friend. Showers are to celebrate the arrival of a new baby and the beginning of an exciting chapter of a mom’s life. This never changes, whether you have baby number one or baby number, well, seven. Every new baby is a gift to be welcomed and celebrated.

My suggestion? Party on! When it’s not her first baby, she may not need the big-ticket items like strollers or car seats, but she definitely need recognition and support. So throw a shower and give the gifts that will really hit home, like a week of meals delivered to her home, a personalized blanket, or even an inscribed book. Here are two gifts to avoid: the to-be-filled-in baby book (she won’t have time) and the Abs of Steel video (she won’t talk to you again). By the way, you’re a good friend. I’ll give you a call if I ever get pregnant again.

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